Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
