Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
