Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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