I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
