One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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