That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
