if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
