at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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