My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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