U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You made out with two different species that night
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
