im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
