There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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