all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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