champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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