Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
