But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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