I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
