Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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