So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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