we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
