I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
