pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize