You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can I color on your dick again?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Randomize
