It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
