It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
