im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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