He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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