I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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