dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize