Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize