I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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