This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
