it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i believe in u and ur pee
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
