I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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