I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
