Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
