just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
