First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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