But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
