it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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