Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
