I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize