life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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