Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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