; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Someone came in the potted fern
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
