my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
