I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
