He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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