Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
