I look better un-naked...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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