vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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