my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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