I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
