i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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