Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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