I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
