He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
