So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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