Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
