I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
