I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
