well I can't set my house on fire every night
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
