JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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