Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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