He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize